Though it may be the right thing to do, it’s never easy.
You really love that person; however, it’s difficult to stay when all the signs to leave the relationship are loud and clear. Separating from someone you love is a painful experience for sure, but you know it can’t give you the ultimate happiness at the same time.
No matter what the reason is, the choice for this is still unpleasant.
How to leave a relationship when you are still in love?
Keep reading to gain more insights!
4 Tips to Deal with This Painful Experience
How can you leave a person whom you still love?
Whether you are forced to break up with your lover or trying to leave a toxic relationship, letting go of a relationship needs time. I mean you pour too much love, feelings, and emotions into that person in the previous time, it’s impossible to cut that connection immediately.
See also: How do cheaters feel about themselves
Due to that, now you need to know tips of leaving a relationship with someone you’re still in love.
1. Find the answer to your ‘why’
What leads you to the decision to end this relationship?
Sometimes it’s because the two of you don’t share lots of things in common or don’t open up the thoughts about the future with each other. When this happens, the ‘why’ is clear and obvious; at the same time, your partner may also feel the same. As a result, it’s easier to leave the person you love if this is the case.
Other times, things in the relationship make you confused and frustrated and you end up want to run away. Probably you are in a toxic or unhealthy relationship that leaves you full of thoughts most of the time. If you find yourself constantly wonder why you stay, it’s time to leave.
Another reason is that you are no longer interested in your partner as before. Once your attraction or desire for them is fading, you two should have a sincere conversation and find out how to bring that spark back.
Or, perhaps you have fallen for someone else?
Or, perhaps you have realized some changes from your partner?
It could be because of your unrealistic expectations drawing both apart.
To understand exactly what makes you want to leave, you must be honest to yourself as well as your partner (if you could).
2. Ask yourself if you’re ready for the breakup
How ready are you when it comes to breaking up with that person?
Knowing that you’re ready to leave a relationship is completely different from getting ready to actually do it. This is the stage where you have to deal with ambivalence about separating from the partner that you always care about. Try to spend time to work through that (if any).
Keep your mind calm, close your eyes, and listen to your heart. Now imagine having a conversation with someone you love and then notice the change in your body. Do you feel warm and secure or get nervous when seeing their visions?
If there’s a part of you become tensed with just the thought about your partner, trust your intuition and leave.
In case you are afraid to hurt them and choose to stay unwillingly, I think it’s a must that you should visit therapy.
3. Test your partner’s reaction
The next step is to test the water to see how that person will react to your decision to leave the relationship.
Breaking up with someone is more than a simple text or a conversation. About what kind of conversation you should make, it depends on where you two are at and how good your partner can handle that news. If the conversation is just mainly about both of you have nothing in common or you two are apart emotionally, it can start off and end easily.
However, if it has to do to something more complicated, like toxic behaviors or your feelings for someone else, then be prepared for arguments. There will be a lot of push back if you are too honest about why you want to leave in this case.
Hence, you can try testing the water regardless of your reason.
For those who are in toxic relationships, or your partner is emotionally unavailable, your ‘testing the water’ talk may sound like an assault to their pride and make them panic. After that you will find them beg you to stay or even threaten you using the kids (if you two were already married).
4. Prepare for the ‘no’ answer
Not that all of your partners will understand your desire to leave and wish you happiness. Tell yourself that they will say ‘no’ to your suggestion of breakup or divorce, and they could come up with many plans to make you stay.
Like what you often see in movies, they may keep contacting you and asking why all over again; after that, they will show up and beg to fix things up.
Don’t try to be so defensive.
Be simple and clear if they act like they don’t get your reason. Keep explaining will make you end up being hooked back to them. You can patiently listen to the story of their side and say something like “I’m sorry for hurting you, but I made up my mind and I won’t change that.”
After leaving the person you love, it’s better to maintain a good boundary with barely or no contact at all. It’s okay to let your ex know that you still care about them; nevertheless, they may understand it as you want to get back to them.
Give them time to get used to the breakup instead of clinging to them and creating false hopes.
Everything in life has its own ending, and breakup is not a failure.
That’s all about how to leave a relationship when you are still in love.
It’s never easy to stay apart from someone you love. You need courage, confidence, and strength to do that. But, you still have to do that if it’s the right thing to do, especially if it’s good for your heart and mind.