What is the point of he chose her over me but wants to be friends?
If a guy decides to break up with you because of someone else yet still begs you to be his friend, then probably he doesn’t want to cut off the connection with you. Being your friend allows him to continuously value and take care of you.
This implies you still have a special spot in his heart.
Does it mean he still loves you?
Well, in case he has a new girlfriend but wants you two to become friends, it says he enjoys spending time with you as you have the energy he prefers. He likes you but not in a romantic way like before.
You shouldn’t take everything to heart – if his love for you is still the same, then he won’t break up. Maybe you two are better as friends. Tell yourself that you truly matter to him if he insists on having you in his life.
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Why My Ex Wants to be Friends with Me?
There are three core reasons that can answer your question:
- He needs emotional support
- He looks for physical support
- His new relationship is not like his expectation
Now let’s take a quick look and find out more details in each reason.
1. Emotional support
Though he has a new lover, he still wants to be friends with you because he needs emotional support.
The way people respond to their breakups is different: some fall into the depression state, some cry out loud at night and act like normal on the daytime, some get involved in a new relationship instantly, and some avoid their ex at all cost.
Well, don’t forget there are some who want to have a friendship with you.
If two of you have a peaceful breakup over text and find no awkwardness around the other, then remaining friends is not a big deal. However, the problem with this kind of friendship is that it’s one sided.
Is true love when he ignores you?
What does that mean?
It means that all you hear about is his feelings and how you make him feel better whenever both of you hang out together. In this situation, he is using you for emotional support – this reason is perfect as he just went through a breakup with you.
He chooses to stick with you as friends because who can understand him better than the person experienced exactly the same thing as he did.
Discover reasons he wants you back after dumped you here!
2. Physical support
Two people broken up with each other can choose to become friends with benefits.
As I told you earlier, everyone has many different ways to respond to a breakup, and this is one of them. This means if your ex asks you to remain friends with him, then his true purpose is to have an affair with you aside his new girlfriend.
Sometimes his current lover can’t satisfy him in bed, he may search for physical support from his ex who is you.
Many admitted that they did have sex with their exes at least once after the separation, and they also claimed that staying friends and sleeping with an ex is quiet common among couples.
Find out when is the right time to break up with your boyfriend…
3. His new relationship is not like he expected
When your boyfriend chose someone else over you, he literally means that girl is better than you. In other words, he believes his new relationship can satisfy him more than when he was with you.
He thinks he is still fine without you, and it’s you who should be the one feeling miserable in his head.
The funny part is that you are also the first person he looks for when things between him and his lover are more difficult and intense than he thought. He could suggest you two becoming friends because he may lack both emotional support and physical support.
Believe me – your ex can’t help but returning to you once his relationship turns out worse than his expectation. Why? Guys tend to come back to the person he feels most comfortable with, but he won’t look for his friends or family in this kind of matter.
Let’s have a quiz to know if your ex still likes you or not!
Is It Possible to Stay Friends with My Ex?
There are two cases with this question:
- It will work as long as both follow the rules
- It won’t work if either of them tries to get back together
1. Being friends with your ex will work
With the first case, I think the friendship seriously following rules redefined by both parties can remain for a long term. As friends, you two will achieve a special thing that hardly finds in a love relationship; that’s, support.
Most of us are selfish and self-centered; thus, 9 out of 10 times your ex asks you to be his friends, the reason is probably because he can gain something from that.
If you want a successful companionship with the ex, then never sleep with him after the breakup. Don’t let yourself get used to having one night stands with him or don’t expect a platonic friendship.
Nevertheless, things will get complicated when you or your ex starts dating someone.
Let me ask you one question: “Will you be cool with the person who was used to your boyfriend’s lover and now calls herself as his friend?”
See also how to leave a relationship when you still love that person!
2. Being friends with your ex will NOT work
You can’t just get your ex back at any time you want; significantly, the timing has to be right especially when he is having a girlfriend.
If you agree to be friends with him, then it’s you weakening yourself. Keep in mind that winning over his heart is impossible once he put you in the friendzone. Even if you can bring him back, the whole process is difficult.
Despite the fact you was his lover back then, making him your boyfriend again costs you longer period at the moment you friend zone yourself.
Summary
There’s nothing good with he chose her over me but wants to be friends!
Just a small percentage of men prove that they truly value the friendship with the ex after a breakup. If the ex boyfriend wants to hold the friendship with you, possibly he sees you as a backup for emotional support and physical support.
Don’t fall into his arms again or you can’t move on from the previous relationship with him.
My name is heather Morrison june 6th 1983 and Ken Trippy November 8th 1985 I have a spell person working on my situation to get me and ken back to me everything going amazing. We been emailing and have not heard anything for 2 days we saw each other and he said I look good with long hair. I should grow it out and when my surgery so I I know he wants me.
Hi Heather,
If you look for any professional help related to spell casting, my suggestion is to contact top-rated spellcasters from Kasamba. Sadly we don’t provide spell casting service here, so hope you understand.
Sincere!
me and this boy spent the whole summer together and was pretty much in a relationship even though we both said we wanted to stay friends. we both liked each other but didn’t tell one another until it was too late. he fell out of love with me not too long before I told him I liked him. now has with another girl and said he wants to be friends with me on the side.. I don’t know what to do because even though were friends he wouldn’t meet me anymore because his new girl knows about our past and automatically hates me. I don’t know what to do.
his whole friend group also want to chat to me but I’m staying loyal him and he doesn’t even realise.
also, I cant tell whether or not it hurts me to stay friends with him or let him go
Hi dear,
If he says that JUST BE FRIENDS, believe him, don’t go after him for love. He might lose interest in you, but it doesn’t mean you’re not worth of love. You deserve someone who love you for who you are. What is meant for will always come back to you.
Remember, EASY LOVE IS NOT REAL and REAL LOVE IS NOT EASY.
Sincere
We were talking for around 2 months and it was pretty obvious we both liked each other. We never officially dated, we were just talking. I asked him if he wanted to hangout again sometime and he said yes. He had been really dry lately and distant so i asked him what was up and he said he’s seeing someone now. He said he’s not sure if it would be a good idea to hangout because of this. So, I asked why he said yes to hanging out and he said because he likes hanging out with me. I don’t know what to do because i really liked him and it seemed as though he felt the same. I don’t know if not talking to him or being friends with him would hurt more. I know he’s allowed to choose someone else because we were just talking but it still hurts.
Hi Vanessa,
You have to start thinking a little more of yourself than you do. He is no prize, so please don’t act as if you lost some phenomenal award. I’m telling you, you didn’t. He wasn’t the one. There is someone else out there who will choose you every time, but you have to start thinking you are worthy of that kind of relationship. This guy does not define who you are. So, good riddance to him. It’s time to stop letting what he chose take away from who you are. Okay, he chose her and not you, guess what. . . it’s HIS loss.
Sincere
I was in a situationship for a year with a guy and we were very close and the relationship was intense. We never discussed being serious with each other eventhough it felt like we were. So, one day he told me that he met a woman at a party that had approached him and gave him all type of compliments in which made him feel special. I was like I gave you the same compliments for a year but I guess it meant more coming from someone else. We had a very intense conversation and he wanted to friend zone me and I told him no. He got really upset and I don’t know why. I told him you let me go and I don’t believe in one sided friendships and he became irate when I said that. My question is why would he want to be friends and why would did he get so upset when I stated I didn’t want a one sided friendship? I don’t think he is still speaking with this women but I could be wrong, however, I have not spoke to him since.
Hi dear,
When a male friend zones a female, it does not usually mean the same thing as when a woman friend zones a man.
When a girl or woman tells a guy she just wants to be friends, it’s usually because she isn’t romantically interested in him, or sexually attracted to him. However, when a guy says he just wants to be friends, it’s often more about lack of commitment than attraction.
Almost every guy who has ever asked to “just be friends” with me, followed up that request by continuing to flirt with me, and expecting that I would be interested in sex under this header of “friendship”. These guys also often become jealous when you move on to be with someone who wants an actual relationship.
So what does he mean when he says he just wants to be friends? It really doesn’t matter what he means. What it should mean for you is that he is only a friend, and nothing more.
Sincere