What is the point of he chose her over me but wants to be friends?
If a guy decides to break up with you because of someone else yet still begs you to be his friend, then probably he doesn’t want to cut off the connection with you. Being your friend allows him to continuously value and take care of you.
This implies you still have a special spot in his heart.
Does it mean he still loves you?
Well, in case he has a new girlfriend but wants you two to become friends, it says he enjoys spending time with you as you have the energy he prefers. He likes you but not in a romantic way like before.
You shouldn’t take everything to heart – if his love for you is still the same, then he won’t break up. Maybe you two are better as friends. Tell yourself that you truly matter to him if he insists on having you in his life.
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Why My Ex Wants to be Friends with Me?
There are three core reasons that can answer your question:
- He needs emotional support
- He looks for physical support
- His new relationship is not like his expectation
Now let’s take a quick look and find out more details in each reason.
1. Emotional support
Though he has a new lover, he still wants to be friends with you because he needs emotional support.
The way people respond to their breakups is different: some fall into the depression state, some cry out loud at night and act like normal on the daytime, some get involved in a new relationship instantly, and some avoid their ex at all cost.
Well, don’t forget there are some who want to have a friendship with you.
If two of you have a peaceful breakup over text and find no awkwardness around the other, then remaining friends is not a big deal. However, the problem with this kind of friendship is that it’s one sided.
What does that mean?
It means that all you hear about is his feelings and how you make him feel better whenever both of you hang out together. In this situation, he is using you for emotional support – this reason is perfect as he just went through a breakup with you.
He chooses to stick with you as friends because who can understand him better than the person experienced exactly the same thing as he did.
Discover reasons he wants you back after dumped you here!
2. Physical support
Two people broken up with each other can choose to become friends with benefits.
As I told you earlier, everyone has many different ways to respond to a breakup, and this is one of them. This means if your ex asks you to remain friends with him, then his true purpose is to have an affair with you aside his new girlfriend.
Sometimes his current lover can’t satisfy him in bed, he may search for physical support from his ex who is you.
Many admitted that they did have sex with their exes at least once after the separation, and they also claimed that staying friends and sleeping with an ex is quiet common among couples.
3. His new relationship is not like he expected
When your boyfriend chose someone else over you, he literally means that girl is better than you. In other words, he believes his new relationship can satisfy him more than when he was with you.
He thinks he is still fine without you, and it’s you who should be the one feeling miserable in his head.
The funny part is that you are also the first person he looks for when things between him and his lover are more difficult and intense than he thought. He could suggest you two becoming friends because he may lack both emotional support and physical support.
Believe me – your ex can’t help but returning to you once his relationship turns out worse than his expectation. Why? Guys tend to come back to the person he feels most comfortable with, but he won’t look for his friends or family in this kind of matter.
Let’s have a quiz to know if your ex still likes you or not!
Is It Possible to Stay Friends with My Ex?
There are two cases with this question:
- It will work as long as both follow the rules
- It won’t work if either of them tries to get back together
1. Being friends with your ex will work
With the first case, I think the friendship seriously following rules redefined by both parties can remain for a long term. As friends, you two will achieve a special thing that hardly finds in a love relationship; that’s, support.
Most of us are selfish and self-centered; thus, 9 out of 10 times your ex asks you to be his friends, the reason is probably because he can gain something from that.
If you want a successful companionship with the ex, then never sleep with him after the breakup. Don’t let yourself get used to having one night stands with him or don’t expect a platonic friendship.
Nevertheless, things will get complicated when you or your ex starts dating someone.
Let me ask you one question: “Will you be cool with the person who was used to your boyfriend’s lover and now calls herself as his friend?”
2. Being friends with your ex will NOT work
You can’t just get your ex back at any time you want; significantly, the timing has to be right especially when he is having a girlfriend.
If you agree to be friends with him, then it’s you weakening yourself. Keep in mind that winning over his heart is impossible once he put you in the friendzone. Even if you can bring him back, the whole process is difficult.
Despite the fact you was his lover back then, making him your boyfriend again costs you longer period at the moment you friend zone yourself.
There’s nothing good with he chose her over me but wants to be friends!
Just a small percentage of men prove that they truly value the friendship with the ex after a breakup. If the ex boyfriend wants to hold the friendship with you, possibly he sees you as a backup for emotional support and physical support.
Don’t fall into his arms again or you can’t move on from the previous relationship with him.